Christmas...Celebrating His Love

It's hard to express my gratitude today. This picture by Liz Lemon Swindle says a lot for me.

Pics from our Missionary...

Weekly Wisdom by Rebecca Hintze

Greetings!

Welcome to Weekly Wisdom sponsored by www.rebeccahint ze.com. This weekly column is published as a public service and may be reprinted with permission free of charge. Rebecca is the author of Healing Your Family History available at stores world-wide.

Heal lives and Relationships this Holiday Season

We all have regrets about the past. Maybe we wished we'd handled a relationship differently, or better? It can be overwhelming to become conscious of the damage that some mistakes have caused. Rather than transform painful choices, relationships blocks, and unhappy lives (which seems to be an obvious solution), many choose to ignore the reality of what they've created and pretend nothing is wrong. They think they'll avoid pain that way. Not true! The strain of avoidance always causes more pain (and work), and over time creates extensive damage. It's easier to just fess up--heal--and move forward.

The holiday season is a typical time when relationship blocks need addressing. Here are some easy, pain- free ways to heal lives and relationships that may be suffering:

1. Say two simple words--"I'm sorry!" These two short and easy words often go unsaid because those who may need to say them are too afraid to use them! Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't mean you're admitting to a crime. It can mean, "I'm sorry that happened." Or, "I'm sorry you feel that way." If a relationship is particularly vulnerable to hurt or argument, stick to these magic words. Say them lovingly. You'll be amazed at how something so simple will transform your life!

2. Validate others--it's the easy way to resolve conflict. Regardless of your opinion or perception, there's two sides to a story--your's and there's. Those who feel wounded by you may not see your point-of-view, and they are much less likely to see your side when you refuse to see theirs. When we get in a, "I'm right, he/she is wrong" battle, we are surely stuck! Perhaps everyone is right. That is--we are always right about our feelings, whether or not we agree on the details. When we validate the other person, we open the door for them to acknowledge us, and this begins resolution. If your challenger doesn't choose to accept your outlook--let it go. Regardless, you'll feel better.

3. Establish healthy boundaries. We all need limits to maintain healthy relationships and happy lives. When we uphold appropriate and positive boundaries, we have better self-esteem; we find we are kinder to others and ourselves; and, we create and sustain unconscious expectations where others know that we expect them to be kind to us. Treating one another with love and kindness is the most essential element for any relationship (and family). Without healthy boundaries and appropriate limits, families fall apart.

4. Serve those you love. When we are self- absorbed, we are unforgiving and unable to properly acknowledge those we love. We manifest our selfishness with an unforgiving nature. To break-free of this unhealthy cycle, serve another without any expectation of receiving something in return. As we serve, we heal our tendency to be selfish, we open our minds to new possibilities, and we unleash our potential to receive limitless joy!

5. Forgive--it's the only way to move forward! Holding on to judgment and criticism of another leaves us stuck with the burden of high expectations and the pain of regret. Forgiveness allows us to energetically dump the heavy, emotional backpacks we carry. Sometimes we must forgive ourselves. Other times we need to absolve a loved one who has betrayed us. Either way, as we forgive, we literally "give" away our pain. It's the only way to truly heal a damaged relationship!

6. Love yourself! We all make mistakes-- that's the way we learn. If we all did it perfect all of the time, the world would be dull and we'd never progress. We need each other to make mistakes so that life can be a laboratory of learning. Truly loving from the inside out happens when we let go of high expectations and accept ourselves--the positive and negative traits we possess. This means acknowledging and tolerating our mistakes, and growing beyond them. As we choose this option, we discover self-love, which breeds a sense of freedom, happiness, and healthy self-esteem.
As you spend time with your family this holiday season, remember to apply these tips. __For this week's homework, determine which one of these solutions will best serve you now, and then develop a plan to implement it into your every day routine.
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Enjoy your week,

Rebecca Linder Hintze
Author, Healing Your Family History
©Rebecca Linder Hintze, 2008.

email: rebecca@rebeccahintze.com
phone: 571.246.7400
web: http://www.rebeccahintze.com


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Spencer Cut his Hair!

...or I should say Jonathan did! It's so great to see his eyes again!
Last night we were at the ward Christmas party, and a member of the bishopric...one who had rubbed shoulders with Spencer many times... came up to Spencer and asked him who he was...introduced himself to him. He was sooo embarrassed when Spencer told him who he was. He had never seen Spencer's eyes before, and had not recognized him! Anyway, I'm loving him and his haircut!

Moss Family Reunion

We had such a great week! Jodie and Robert rented a huge lodge on a beautiful lake up by Bend, and invited the family for Thanksgiving! Here's some pictures...

My Business Trip

Last week I went to Maine to spend a few days at Moose Lake Ranch with some of my favorite people learning things I love to learn about. To justify it to Hubby and the kids, I just told them it was a "business" trip. In our family, we all understand the world of business trips...

I cannot begin to tell you what a great experience I had at the women's retreat in Maine. Rebecca Linder Hintze, author of "Healing Your Family History", along with her friend, Connie Boucher, treated us with 4 days of relaxation, learning, and a lot of fun.
We were nestled up in the beautiful Moose Lake Lodge one hour outside of Portland, Maine. Dave and Callie Steuer opened up their beautiful lake home for our use on our 4 day retreat.

Rebecca Hintze is not only a great writer, she is an amazing teacher. Rebecca is a leading expert on family issues. She has a very unique ability to help people unveil core belief patterns, and heal dysfunctional family patterns...and who doesn't have a dysfunctional family pattern or two? It was such a treat to sit and learn from her. We learned about things ranging from personal healing, to parenting, to developing relationships. I won't even try to outline specifics, because there was so much, and it was all very helpful and applicable to me....and yes, very healing. She is also amazing as a person and friend. I'm so thankful for the time I was able to spend with her.


Connie Boucher is a gifted massage therapist, and I was blessed through her unique gifts. She's a very spiritual lady who sees her talents as a gift from God...and she doesn't hesitate to give credit where credit is due. She is a lady whose been through a war, and came out of it all with a whole lot of love and wisdom. It was so great to be able to get to know her.
There's nothing like waking up in the morning and doing yoga by the lake.
It was so quiet and peaceful. I loved walking around the lake and just observing the wildlife, and listening to the birds. The water was so still...it was like a sheet of glass. The reflection of the trees on the water was breath taking.

Julie Corey treated everyone to a class of "Zumba". I loved watching!!! I was getting my hair done at the time, so I didn't get to participate (DARN!)...but I sure got a whole lot of entertainment! It looked like a great way to exercise, and a whole lot of fun!
On the last day we did a little shopping, and site seeing. We ended our day at a restaurant eating Maine lobster.

It was great being up there with Susan and Kathy. Susan was constantly taking our breath away on many levels, and Kathy is so authentic...it's always fun to be around her. I grew to love the other women who were up there with us as well. It was a once in a lifetime event that I'm thankful I was able to attend.
One thing that I am left with after this experience is a deep desire to learn to recognize the Spirit's promptings in a way that I can trust in them completely, and recognize God's influence in my life. I was given many tools to help me in that journey. That was quite the "business trip". It will alter the way I do my "business" forever.

Proposition 8 in Plain English

Pictures for our World Traveling Children

Yesterday we went to the pumpkin patch. Here's a few pictures of the grand event. Also, I've thrown in a couple of recent family pictures. We're missing a few kids, but this is all we have left...our house feels a little more empty these days.

Hairy and Hairless Henry Style

Henry was pretty excited about his birthday. You'll have to notice those long locks...I loved them. They got a little too long, and we had to make the big trip to the barber. He's pretty excited to be looking like a missionary now. (I'm pretty much missing those curls!)Here's a picture of his new do.

Scripture Reading

Scripture reading has taken on a whole new meaning in our home...We've even had a couple of battles. Yesterday my mother in law and I were out shopping and found the New Testament in a language I've never seen before. I couldn't resist, and brought it home. Oddly enough, we've all taken up reading the scriptures...in Hawaiian Pidjin. I think Jodi was right... She once told me that if you want to learn a foreign language, read the scriptures in that language...I'm getting pretty good at this Hawaiian Pidjin stuff. I'm getting so good that every now and then I slip up and start talking in dis language mid sentence. I think I may get to the point where I'm dreaming in it, I'll let you know. I'm sure it's comin. I dis like to share a scripture wid you found in "DA JESUS BOOK":

Matthew 5; 27-30

"You guys wen hear wat God wen say: 'No go fool aroun behind yoa husban o yoa wife's back.' But eh! I telling you guys dis: Whoeva look at one wahine an like fool aroun her, he wen do um awready inside his heart. If da right eye make you do bad kine stuff lidat, dig um out, an throw um away! No matta you ony get one eye--mo worse da whole body go Hell! If da right hand make you do bad kine stuff, cut um off an throw um away! No matta you ony get one hand-- mo worse da whole body go Hell!

Come for Dinner!

Tonight we're having chicken soup. If I'm feeling generous, we'll have a few noodles to go with it. Why?......Well...I think I feel fall in the air! We have gotten a little cool a time or two the past week or so...I think it got as low as 65 degrees...almost sweater weather! Yesterday, we had an incredible thunderstorm, although over our heads the sun was valiently shining down on us. I believe today I detect a little movement in the air...could that possibly be a wind storm? ...and I had a flower die. That's definitely a sign! So today we're warming our little tummies up with chicken soup. You're all invited!

Thank You!

Thankyou is a word that is sometimes hard to adaquately express. Our little Henry remedied that tonight in his prayers. Every now and then he'll say his own prayers in his own language, and style. His prayers can be quite long. He mumbles a lot, and I don't always understand his words. However, when he prays, there's no questions about where his heart is. So tonight he was saying his prayers. He said some things about dinasaurs, and Mommy and Daddy. He began to talk about "Tiwa", "Happy", "Ben", "Docee", "Sven", and "Em". Then he stopped and said over and over again "Tan-que (thank you), tan-que, tan-que, tan-que..." He couldn't have said it better.

Disneyland

Andy, Amanda, and their family came down to Carlsbad last week. Wednesday we took our kids to Disneyland. It was such a fun day. Everyone had a great time. Here's a few pictures of my little ones...

Trying to Contain the Joy

The Princess Makeover

My Pooh Bear

My Adorable Niece

One of the great things about being in Carlsbad is being next to Wendy and her family! Check out my adorable neice! I will have you observe...not too closely...that talented lady next to her! I was told that if I could get my foot over my head like she can, I'd be her favorite aunt...I'm working on it.

I Am A Child of God

Have a good Sabbath...

The Big Bed

Last night was Henry's first night in a "Big boy bed". We're not quite certain how he really did, but he was mighty proud of himself this morning! I had piled a mountain of blankets up by his bed, to soften the blow if he fell out....well, actually there would be no falling, because if he rolled out of bed, he would just roll onto blankets. So this morning the blankets were spread out on the floor, and he was asleep in the midst of them. He must have had quite a night, but this morning he woke up with a big grin...he did it!

Hairful (picture taken by Wendy)

"Docee" had nice hair...I have to admit. Someone at church said, "Oh, so you're the mom of the boy who looks like Jesus!"...I liked that. He made his big donation to Locks of Love this past week before entering the great campus of BYUI....

Hairless

I've had a million people...okay, not really a million, but maybe 5 or 6 people who have asked for a picture. So here you are. This is "Docee" with his new do. He's standing here with his Boston friends who will also be going to school there.

Happy Birthday Michelle!

...Such a Happy Memory!

FYI

"Beak" (which is also the name for the bill of a bird) will from here on out, today and forever, be known as "Hubby" on this blog.

Tagged

Okay, Okay...I'll do it. McKenna tagged me...


8 things I am passionate about:

1) The Savior
2) Family
3) Church
4) Young children
5) Learning
6) Roses
7) Beach combing in San Felipe
8) A classroom full of "choosin the right" 7 year olds


8 books I have read and enjoyed:

1) No David!
2) Better Than You Think You are
3) Healing you Family History
4) My Grandfather's Blessings
5) The Glass Castle
6) The Optimistic Child
7) The Potter and the Clay
8) Scriptures


8 words/phrases I often say:

1) let it roll
2) be nice
3) please stop
4) turn the TV off
5) we'll see
6) oh well
7) do your best
8) hose off the sand before you come into the house


8 things I want to do before I die:

1) see my children happily married to the right spouse in the right place at the right time
2) hold my grandchildren
3) go on a cruise with Hubby
4) donate at least $1,000,000 to my favorite cause
5) open a center focused on supporting children and their parents
6) go on a mission with Hubby
7) ride an elephant
8) go on an extensive tour of the South American ruins


8 things I learned in this past year:

1) life is a precious gift
2) anything's possible with the help of Diety
3) armadillos are little
4) the biggest gifts sometimes come in the smallest packages
5) how powerful our faith can be...the importance of placing our faith in the Savior
6) the drive between Utah and California isn't that far
7) Marvin Goldstein is funny
8) great gifts can be found in adversity


people I want to tag (that means if you don't have a blog, you have to set one up!):

1) Susan
2) Wendy
3) Jodie
4) Christy
5) Kathy
6) Amanda
7) Jaylene
8) Mom

Duboise Idahoese

I got to go to Idaho last week which was a real treat. Not only did I get to see my mom, I got to see lots of other relatives too. Then I was able to go down to Provo to see "Kenna".

So, my vocabulary has matured somewhat. I have a few words for you all to learn. We'll start with a couple. Did you know that holy mackeral is not a religious fish? Thank goodness for Jaylene who sat by my side and interpreted Duboise Idahoese for me. I'm not sure they speak Duboise Idahoese in other parts of Idaho even...only our moms "was" fortunate enough to pick up on that. I have to say, though, they taught us a thing or two while growing up. It's a fascinating language.

In Massachusetts the kids get expelled for saying...*%&^ (okay, that means crap...please don't repeat it!)...to intrepret the Idahoese it just means shucks, or crumb. A true Duboisean uses that word like it's the word "and". So if any of you are planning a trip to Idaho, or you frequently converse with a native Duboisean, come talk to me. I can give you the low down on the vocab in a jiffy (that means quickly), and we'll have you up and running in no time.

"Happy", "Kenna", and I

Ben...

 

Wendy takes amazing pictures! She took these pictures of the kids at surfcamp this summer...

Catching a Wave