What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage

Here's a fun article a friend gave to me a few years ago. It was written by Amy Sutherland. Enjoy...

Follow-up

Yesterday deserves a good follow-up. Tiwa had a nice, quiet day....watching newly uploaded movies on her ipod...which she has been looking for the opportunity to do for a while. It's amazing how her breath was remidied with a good brushing. She wanted to go play on the beach, but because she was too sick to go to school, she was too sick to go to the beach. We solved that in a hurry by making cookies...she loves to cook. It was a good day. Today she woke up and was anxious to get to school early. At any rate, we were thankful her heart was still beating....

Just a side note...today I'm feeling a bit "woosey".

School Sickness

This morning I was in the car waiting for "Tiwa" so I could make my morning school drop off rounds. "Ben" hopped in the car and announced that "Tiwa" wasn't coming, because she's sick. ???? I was just in the house with her. I watched her eat breakfast, and get ready to walk out the door. She was fine!!! What prompted this sudden onset of sickness? I had to come in and investigate. When I got in the house I saw poor little Tiwa laying on the couch. I asked her why she decided she wasn't going to school. She told me she doesn't feel good. I asked her to tell me what that feels like. This is what I learned...My little lady, 1st, felt woosey. 2nd, she had a bad taste in her mouth, and 3rd, her heart was beating. I laughed!!!!! Of course...the symptoms of school sickness! I promptly told her it sounded serious, and sent her to bed. It did help that this girl is a straight A student...that makes the symptoms all the more serious. So, today will be a Tiwa and Me day. I'm certain she will back to good health tomorrow!

William, We Love You!!!

William's birthday is this week. In addition to the little treat coming in the mail, I have posted some recent pictures here mostly for him to enjoy...email is not a very good way to get pictures to him. Anyway, William, if you make it to this blog, enjoy! ...and have a wonderful birthday!!!!...on your Wednesday...or my tuesday... and know that WE LOVE YOU!!!
We took this picture at thanksgiving time. By the way, this was taken the day before "Sven" cut his hair. I love being able to see his eyes now!
"Sven" got a much desired updated, new phone for Christmas.

...a new skateboard!!!

Christmas...Celebrating His Love

It's hard to express my gratitude today. This picture by Liz Lemon Swindle says a lot for me.

Pics from our Missionary...

Weekly Wisdom by Rebecca Hintze

Greetings!

Welcome to Weekly Wisdom sponsored by www.rebeccahint ze.com. This weekly column is published as a public service and may be reprinted with permission free of charge. Rebecca is the author of Healing Your Family History available at stores world-wide.

Heal lives and Relationships this Holiday Season

We all have regrets about the past. Maybe we wished we'd handled a relationship differently, or better? It can be overwhelming to become conscious of the damage that some mistakes have caused. Rather than transform painful choices, relationships blocks, and unhappy lives (which seems to be an obvious solution), many choose to ignore the reality of what they've created and pretend nothing is wrong. They think they'll avoid pain that way. Not true! The strain of avoidance always causes more pain (and work), and over time creates extensive damage. It's easier to just fess up--heal--and move forward.

The holiday season is a typical time when relationship blocks need addressing. Here are some easy, pain- free ways to heal lives and relationships that may be suffering:

1. Say two simple words--"I'm sorry!" These two short and easy words often go unsaid because those who may need to say them are too afraid to use them! Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't mean you're admitting to a crime. It can mean, "I'm sorry that happened." Or, "I'm sorry you feel that way." If a relationship is particularly vulnerable to hurt or argument, stick to these magic words. Say them lovingly. You'll be amazed at how something so simple will transform your life!

2. Validate others--it's the easy way to resolve conflict. Regardless of your opinion or perception, there's two sides to a story--your's and there's. Those who feel wounded by you may not see your point-of-view, and they are much less likely to see your side when you refuse to see theirs. When we get in a, "I'm right, he/she is wrong" battle, we are surely stuck! Perhaps everyone is right. That is--we are always right about our feelings, whether or not we agree on the details. When we validate the other person, we open the door for them to acknowledge us, and this begins resolution. If your challenger doesn't choose to accept your outlook--let it go. Regardless, you'll feel better.

3. Establish healthy boundaries. We all need limits to maintain healthy relationships and happy lives. When we uphold appropriate and positive boundaries, we have better self-esteem; we find we are kinder to others and ourselves; and, we create and sustain unconscious expectations where others know that we expect them to be kind to us. Treating one another with love and kindness is the most essential element for any relationship (and family). Without healthy boundaries and appropriate limits, families fall apart.

4. Serve those you love. When we are self- absorbed, we are unforgiving and unable to properly acknowledge those we love. We manifest our selfishness with an unforgiving nature. To break-free of this unhealthy cycle, serve another without any expectation of receiving something in return. As we serve, we heal our tendency to be selfish, we open our minds to new possibilities, and we unleash our potential to receive limitless joy!

5. Forgive--it's the only way to move forward! Holding on to judgment and criticism of another leaves us stuck with the burden of high expectations and the pain of regret. Forgiveness allows us to energetically dump the heavy, emotional backpacks we carry. Sometimes we must forgive ourselves. Other times we need to absolve a loved one who has betrayed us. Either way, as we forgive, we literally "give" away our pain. It's the only way to truly heal a damaged relationship!

6. Love yourself! We all make mistakes-- that's the way we learn. If we all did it perfect all of the time, the world would be dull and we'd never progress. We need each other to make mistakes so that life can be a laboratory of learning. Truly loving from the inside out happens when we let go of high expectations and accept ourselves--the positive and negative traits we possess. This means acknowledging and tolerating our mistakes, and growing beyond them. As we choose this option, we discover self-love, which breeds a sense of freedom, happiness, and healthy self-esteem.
As you spend time with your family this holiday season, remember to apply these tips. __For this week's homework, determine which one of these solutions will best serve you now, and then develop a plan to implement it into your every day routine.
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Enjoy your week,

Rebecca Linder Hintze
Author, Healing Your Family History
©Rebecca Linder Hintze, 2008.

email: rebecca@rebeccahintze.com
phone: 571.246.7400
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