Christmas...Celebrating His Love

It's hard to express my gratitude today. This picture by Liz Lemon Swindle says a lot for me.

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Weekly Wisdom by Rebecca Hintze

Greetings!

Welcome to Weekly Wisdom sponsored by www.rebeccahint ze.com. This weekly column is published as a public service and may be reprinted with permission free of charge. Rebecca is the author of Healing Your Family History available at stores world-wide.

Heal lives and Relationships this Holiday Season

We all have regrets about the past. Maybe we wished we'd handled a relationship differently, or better? It can be overwhelming to become conscious of the damage that some mistakes have caused. Rather than transform painful choices, relationships blocks, and unhappy lives (which seems to be an obvious solution), many choose to ignore the reality of what they've created and pretend nothing is wrong. They think they'll avoid pain that way. Not true! The strain of avoidance always causes more pain (and work), and over time creates extensive damage. It's easier to just fess up--heal--and move forward.

The holiday season is a typical time when relationship blocks need addressing. Here are some easy, pain- free ways to heal lives and relationships that may be suffering:

1. Say two simple words--"I'm sorry!" These two short and easy words often go unsaid because those who may need to say them are too afraid to use them! Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't mean you're admitting to a crime. It can mean, "I'm sorry that happened." Or, "I'm sorry you feel that way." If a relationship is particularly vulnerable to hurt or argument, stick to these magic words. Say them lovingly. You'll be amazed at how something so simple will transform your life!

2. Validate others--it's the easy way to resolve conflict. Regardless of your opinion or perception, there's two sides to a story--your's and there's. Those who feel wounded by you may not see your point-of-view, and they are much less likely to see your side when you refuse to see theirs. When we get in a, "I'm right, he/she is wrong" battle, we are surely stuck! Perhaps everyone is right. That is--we are always right about our feelings, whether or not we agree on the details. When we validate the other person, we open the door for them to acknowledge us, and this begins resolution. If your challenger doesn't choose to accept your outlook--let it go. Regardless, you'll feel better.

3. Establish healthy boundaries. We all need limits to maintain healthy relationships and happy lives. When we uphold appropriate and positive boundaries, we have better self-esteem; we find we are kinder to others and ourselves; and, we create and sustain unconscious expectations where others know that we expect them to be kind to us. Treating one another with love and kindness is the most essential element for any relationship (and family). Without healthy boundaries and appropriate limits, families fall apart.

4. Serve those you love. When we are self- absorbed, we are unforgiving and unable to properly acknowledge those we love. We manifest our selfishness with an unforgiving nature. To break-free of this unhealthy cycle, serve another without any expectation of receiving something in return. As we serve, we heal our tendency to be selfish, we open our minds to new possibilities, and we unleash our potential to receive limitless joy!

5. Forgive--it's the only way to move forward! Holding on to judgment and criticism of another leaves us stuck with the burden of high expectations and the pain of regret. Forgiveness allows us to energetically dump the heavy, emotional backpacks we carry. Sometimes we must forgive ourselves. Other times we need to absolve a loved one who has betrayed us. Either way, as we forgive, we literally "give" away our pain. It's the only way to truly heal a damaged relationship!

6. Love yourself! We all make mistakes-- that's the way we learn. If we all did it perfect all of the time, the world would be dull and we'd never progress. We need each other to make mistakes so that life can be a laboratory of learning. Truly loving from the inside out happens when we let go of high expectations and accept ourselves--the positive and negative traits we possess. This means acknowledging and tolerating our mistakes, and growing beyond them. As we choose this option, we discover self-love, which breeds a sense of freedom, happiness, and healthy self-esteem.
As you spend time with your family this holiday season, remember to apply these tips. __For this week's homework, determine which one of these solutions will best serve you now, and then develop a plan to implement it into your every day routine.
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Enjoy your week,

Rebecca Linder Hintze
Author, Healing Your Family History
©Rebecca Linder Hintze, 2008.

email: rebecca@rebeccahintze.com
phone: 571.246.7400
web: http://www.rebeccahintze.com


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Spencer Cut his Hair!

...or I should say Jonathan did! It's so great to see his eyes again!
Last night we were at the ward Christmas party, and a member of the bishopric...one who had rubbed shoulders with Spencer many times... came up to Spencer and asked him who he was...introduced himself to him. He was sooo embarrassed when Spencer told him who he was. He had never seen Spencer's eyes before, and had not recognized him! Anyway, I'm loving him and his haircut!

Moss Family Reunion

We had such a great week! Jodie and Robert rented a huge lodge on a beautiful lake up by Bend, and invited the family for Thanksgiving! Here's some pictures...

My Business Trip

Last week I went to Maine to spend a few days at Moose Lake Ranch with some of my favorite people learning things I love to learn about. To justify it to Hubby and the kids, I just told them it was a "business" trip. In our family, we all understand the world of business trips...

I cannot begin to tell you what a great experience I had at the women's retreat in Maine. Rebecca Linder Hintze, author of "Healing Your Family History", along with her friend, Connie Boucher, treated us with 4 days of relaxation, learning, and a lot of fun.
We were nestled up in the beautiful Moose Lake Lodge one hour outside of Portland, Maine. Dave and Callie Steuer opened up their beautiful lake home for our use on our 4 day retreat.

Rebecca Hintze is not only a great writer, she is an amazing teacher. Rebecca is a leading expert on family issues. She has a very unique ability to help people unveil core belief patterns, and heal dysfunctional family patterns...and who doesn't have a dysfunctional family pattern or two? It was such a treat to sit and learn from her. We learned about things ranging from personal healing, to parenting, to developing relationships. I won't even try to outline specifics, because there was so much, and it was all very helpful and applicable to me....and yes, very healing. She is also amazing as a person and friend. I'm so thankful for the time I was able to spend with her.


Connie Boucher is a gifted massage therapist, and I was blessed through her unique gifts. She's a very spiritual lady who sees her talents as a gift from God...and she doesn't hesitate to give credit where credit is due. She is a lady whose been through a war, and came out of it all with a whole lot of love and wisdom. It was so great to be able to get to know her.
There's nothing like waking up in the morning and doing yoga by the lake.
It was so quiet and peaceful. I loved walking around the lake and just observing the wildlife, and listening to the birds. The water was so still...it was like a sheet of glass. The reflection of the trees on the water was breath taking.

Julie Corey treated everyone to a class of "Zumba". I loved watching!!! I was getting my hair done at the time, so I didn't get to participate (DARN!)...but I sure got a whole lot of entertainment! It looked like a great way to exercise, and a whole lot of fun!
On the last day we did a little shopping, and site seeing. We ended our day at a restaurant eating Maine lobster.

It was great being up there with Susan and Kathy. Susan was constantly taking our breath away on many levels, and Kathy is so authentic...it's always fun to be around her. I grew to love the other women who were up there with us as well. It was a once in a lifetime event that I'm thankful I was able to attend.
One thing that I am left with after this experience is a deep desire to learn to recognize the Spirit's promptings in a way that I can trust in them completely, and recognize God's influence in my life. I was given many tools to help me in that journey. That was quite the "business trip". It will alter the way I do my "business" forever.

Proposition 8 in Plain English